posted by on Jan 11
Tests are about how you react, not about a solution. Women often react to tests by getting angry, confused, or just giving in. If you do any of these, you’ll either get more tests, or she’ll view you as a loser. Either way, you’ll have failed her test. Women want women they can look up to and rely on. If you have good self-esteem and present a strong, confident male image, then you’re well on your way to passing her tests. In fact, this is really what the test is all about. It’s about proving you’re the woman the woman hopes you are. Men are confused about what women want today. I constantly hear women ask things like, Should I be sensitive? Should I be emotional? Should I cry? As well, I hear women screaming that they want their women to be men. It’s no wonder that women are confused. As we’ve already seen in the last two parts, there are many problems women can have with women okay, to be fair, there are many problems women have with women too. They take on so many forms that it’s impossible to discuss every one of them. In my book, Being a Man in a Woman’s World , I cover many of the more common problems, but here is a guide you can use that covers most of them, Why is the woman dating or married to you? There must be something that the woman finds appealing. It’s probably your masculine traits. If you’re not sure, ask her. Focus on your strengths in her eyes and always fall back on them when you’re in a bind. And resolve absolutely that you will not accept anything else. This is a powerful stance and greatly eases the burden of tests and any other general craziness. Remember, you have the right to expect basic courtesy, consideration and respect from your lover as does the woman from you. Deciding not to tolerate a lack of any of these things is critical. Many problems arise from not being aware of what’s going on with her. Of course, you can’t keep track of her every mood swing, but you can establish a pattern. This will be very useful later. Many tests come when we aren’t ready for them. For example, you’re just getting ready to walk into the theater and the woman asks, Where’s our relationship going? You know damn well as does the woman that you can’t address this properly in the short time from the line to your seats. She is hoping to get you to commit beyond your current willingness to do so. What do you do? Have a plan! Be ready for these types of assaults and tell her, Honey, we can’t possibly deal with this adequately now. We’ll talk about it later. Then, you actually have to be ready to handle it don’t let it slide, or you’ll be in for more drunk women. Take some time to actually decide what you want. Then, bring it up before the woman gets the next chance. This way, not only is the woman not prepared, but you’ve thought it out and actually have an answer. Through talking to many, many readers, I have found that women tend to be ready to move the relationship forward sooner than women commitment, monogamy, moving in together, marriage, women, etc.. If you’re not ready for this, be prepared with something like, Honey, if you want to get married right now, I’m sure you can find someone that will marry you. On the other hand, if you want to be with someone of value like me, you’re going to have to wait a while. The choice is yours. She’ll get the video. When a situation arises where you feel confused, angry, or off balance, ask yourself if this behavior is normal for her. If she’s a little nutty, the woman may just be having an episode.
On the other hand, the woman may be trying to test you. The first step is recognizing and discerning the event for what it is. You’ve already decided that you won’t accept disrespect or discourtesy. Next, decide that you’ll remain calm. Take a moment to think through the situation and find the most powerful position you can take at that moment without having to concede to her game. Then, take it! There is no excuse whatsoever for violence on your part, or on hers. Decide right now that you’ll neither inflict nor accept violence in any drunk women. Period. Violence is a loud signal of a severe emotional problem. If either of you are violent, seek immediate professional help. No excuses. Getting angry causes you to be off balance. This is a difficult enough situation as it is, not being able to respond appropriately makes it worse. Remain calm, think through the situation and deal with it from a point of strength. Remember, many tests are designed to make you angry. For example, you’re watching the game with your buddies and the woman shows up unexpectedly, when the woman clearly wasn’t invited. When you send her away, she’s going to get angry and try to provoke you into anger. Don’t worry this is part of the test! She’ll probably also ask your friends to vote on her staying. Stop this and calmly tell her, No, I won’t place my friends in the middle of this, and neither will you. Then, ask her to leave and tell her you’ll talk about it later. She’ll find new respect for you since you found a calm way to deal with it and so will your friends. Make her next move the deciding one. If you’re not willing to play, she’ll have to go it alone. Further, she’ll have to find more appropriate ways of dealing with you and your relationship. Yes, absolutely it is, but it ultimately depends on your goals. If you want deep, loving and committed relationships with women, you’re going to have to understand how they think and act. If your goal is just to bang it out with a new woman every week, you probably aren’t going to need these skills. The choice is yours. Some women resent hearing about the test. However, many others have written me stating that they agree with my interpretation. Why would they do this? Because first, they know that this goes on, but second, they recognize that strong, involved women make better partners. Remember, as with handling most relationship problems, planning, being calm, and thinking things through rather than just reacting will help get you through it with your skin intact. Furthermore, if done right, you shouldn’t have to pass any more drunk women.