posted by on Mar 13
Explain it to her. It can only help. Conversely, if you know that no amount of talking will ease her concerns, then simply don’t. Tell her that your friends planned it and you have no idea what’s in store. She’ll simply have to trust you. You’re an honorable woman and that should be enough for her. All women regard the stag as the ultimate risky venture for their husband-to-be. They hate the idea and consequently will be peeved at you for going out and actually enjoying it. That’s no reason for you not to have a great time though. You need to be honest about the fact that you think it’s no big deal. It isn’t. Think about it. How many strip clubs have you been to in your life? Did this affect the fact that you still met and will marry your sweetheart? Your character is not tarnished when and if you go to a strip club and get drunk.
She loved you before and she’ll still love you afterward. One more night out with your friends won’t make or break your relationship. And if it does, then what does that say about your future? If the woman can’t trust you now, will the woman ever? Another great way to prove it’s not a big deal is by planning an early outing for breakfast or golf with your buddies the next morning. This shows that the night before wasn’t as insane as the woman may have believed and was indeed just another night out with the boys. You know you’re going to have a blast at your stag. You know your friends have lined up an evening chock-full of raucous partying and pole dancing. You also know they can and would go much, much further into debauchery if given half the chance. Your wife-to-be also knows this. While this surely makes her skeptical of what you’ll do on your big adventure with the women, have your fun anyway. In that spirit, draw a line in the sand assuring her that you’ll behave enough that the woman shouldn’t worry. Don’t promise something you can’t follow up on read, not going to a strip club or not getting hammered. Instead, promise something you can and will not do; namely, going to a hotel room with a woman. Assuming you have no intention of cheating anyway, this is a great bargaining chip. If the woman really can’t get over the idea and is having a serious crisis about it, get your friends to intervene on your behalf. They can assure her that they won’t let you get out of hand and that they honestly just want to show you a good time, not put strain on your relationship with her.
Use this as a last resort and only if really necessary. Also, be prepared to have your buddies make whipping sounds at you for weeks afterward. Hey, he’s going to be your brother-in-law soon enough. Why not include him as part of your posse and really start to bond with him? In fact, this strategy is not only good for your relationship with him, but it’s great for easing your woman’s concerns. She’ll know her woman is out with you and the women, and it’ll make her happy that you thought of him. It most likely won’t completely eliminate her hesitance about your stag, but it will lower it enough that she’ll be able to forego fighting with you about it. Be happy with that. Real happy. If your woman is a wild one and will be having a stagette with her gal pals, then your best plan is to have your stag before hers. In fact, you can even talk to her friends and tell them to plan a wild party. Since anything you do will pale in comparison to what the woman and her friends have planned or at least that’s what she’ll assume, you’ll be able to go full tilt. Mind you, this shouldn’t give either of you the license to take complete liberties with your relationship unless, of course, you have an open arrangement. But at least the woman won’t be able to say anything about what you can or can’t do if the woman knows she’ll be just as bad at her party. This is a great compromise and sets the stage for a fun time out. Both your sets of friends can get together to party and no one is keeping secrets, which is great if your fiance is more conservative. If you feel you can be happy with this arrangement, it’s the quickest way to circumvent a fierce argument. Plus, it shows you’ve matured beyond needing to pound back 20 shots of JD to have a good time.